I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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