Porn is love you can see.
I love having hate sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize