I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
