And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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