Banned from zoo.
Again?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
