don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
