check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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