I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
