chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
