he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have aggressive nipples.
I believe in your delicious
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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