so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
