i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize