would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
