Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
