just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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