Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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