why didn't you poke me back
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
