i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
