I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
