Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
