i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
