Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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