Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
