Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
