i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the condom got lost in my hair
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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