If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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