i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
