he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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