Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
