i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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