i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize