I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize