You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
