i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
