just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
