i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
