I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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