I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
