How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
