speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
