Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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