dude i'm inner monologue high
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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