the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
