I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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