The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
