I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
