Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
