It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
