my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
