I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
