I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude i'm inner monologue high
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize