have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
