no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
