So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
