YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize