Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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