I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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