I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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