I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
