I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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