he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize