okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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