Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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