i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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