Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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